VACATION & RESPECTING

I t was so awesome going with Amanda. I was carefree me again for a bit. It was just her, me and the kids. The kids loved it and got to see all the sites. SeaWorld was awesome of course and so was Concan. It was awesome to meet new people that knew nothing about us. Amanda was so awesome and helpful and the trip wouldn't of happened without her ...So THANK YOU Amanda for being a true friend. I was so relaxed and just enjoyed everything.No reminders that the most important thing in my life is gone. No one constantly asking me if I was okay and how was I doing. How do they think ? I don't even want to be here. I want to be so selfish and join my husband but I cant because of my kids. I once told someone I wish I took the easy way out of life or was one to give up way to easy but **sign ** I hate to say I am not. I will continue on with this life for my children's sake. I am determined to respect Steve's wishes to the very end. From the silly requests he had to not cutting her hair and piercing her ears until she is older to the important ones. I will make him proud that I was his wife and cherish just having the time I did have with him. Ahhhh the memorys he gave and continues to do so through our children.... I am forever grateful that I knew him...Ughhhh well time to finish my college work ...:( Plus I have to get ready for Amys birthday Thursday. I cant be leave my little girl is ready for Pre-K next year. The idea of leaving her with strangers freaks me out more then her. I am nervous and she is excited and telling everyone she is a big girl ready for school next year .... **tear*** They grow up so fast...Well look at the time ...bed time the kids will get up wanting breakfast .....